75 Beats to a Happy Heart by Jackie Madden Haugh

Author:Jackie Madden Haugh
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: WriteLife Publishing
Published: 2015-02-12T05:00:00+00:00

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It’s Called Faith

Since my dad moved in with me, the most important TV station in his world has been channel 229 – the Catholic channel.

Because he can no longer see clearly he can’t do the one thing he loves most, read. So, the stories on channel 229, plus the masses and rosaries spoken out loud, bring him a source of comfort that has never abandoned him— his Catholic religion.

“I think it’s time for Mass,” he calls out to me every evening at 6:30, settling in for another journey with our Lord.

I press the numbers 229 on the TV remote and the church bells ring loud and clear. The priest slowly makes his way through a throng of devote parishioners to the gilded altar and the sacrament begins.

“There you go, Dad,” I say as I kiss his forehead. “I’ll be back when it’s over.”

Standing at the door, I watch his eyes close and lips silently follow along in prayer. He centers himself into a blissful peace I fear I will never know.

All my life, I have witnessed this man of God live a pure, holy life. Born into the rich tradition of Christ’s teachings, my dad has always existed according to the Holy Scripture’s plan. He followed God’s laws. He breathed a life of simplicity and humility. He always knew what was right and what was wrong.

After a few of those nightly Masses, one day, I had to ask the burning question I’d thought about since I was a little girl. Forever a woman with the middle name “why” I needed to uncover his secret.

“Dad, do you ever question the teachings of the church?” I asked, tucking him into bed. “You seem to be so strong in what you believe.”

Looking at me, his daughter who finds herself constantly at a loss as an adult with her religious upbringing, he took my hand and said, “Honey, I question so much.”

For a moment, I stood in shock. He always appeared to be the dutiful boy who did exactly what he was told, unquestioning. My father is a creature of routine and stability. It’s how he functions best and I assumed he blindly believed because it suited his lifestyle. For some, it’s just easier to be told how to live our lives than to explore the possibilities

“Really?” I said. “I’m surprised. What do you question?”

“I question issues that feel more political than religious, but when it comes to the teachings of Christ, I have no doubts. This is where you need to have faith.” Clutching his rosary to his chest, getting ready for his final nightly prayers, he continued, “Whenever you’re in doubt about your life, close your eyes and say, ‘Jesus please comfort me.’ It works every time.”

Looking at this shriveled, shell of a human being who was once strong and energetic, I traced my fingers around his face while he was slowly fell asleep, and I asked one final question.

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